Maybe balance was never the goal
There was a moment in my conversation with Amanda Goetz when I thought, I wish someone had explained this to me 15 years ago.
Like so many women, I spent years trying to be in two places at once. I could be with my kids while sneaking work in. I could be running a company while carrying the mental load of being a mom. Somehow, I thought being good at both meant learning to balance both at the same time.
Amanda challenged that idea with two words: intentional imbalance.
Maybe every part of our lives doesn’t need an equal piece of us at every moment. Maybe the goal is learning to be fully present for the part that needs us now.
Meet Amanda
I loved sitting down with Amanda Goetz, a two-time founder, personal brand expert, author, and mom of three. Amanda has built an audience by sharing the parts of entrepreneurship and motherhood most people edit out, growing her newsletter to more than 150,000 subscribers. What I appreciate most is that she doesn’t pretend to have it all figured out. She shares what she’s learning while she’s living it, and you immediately feel like she’s in the arena with you.
You don’t have to be every version of yourself at once
Amanda told me that the version of herself who is intensely focused on work doesn’t always coexist well with the version who wants to be completely present with her children.
So she stopped trying to force them together.
During the pandemic, she even created what she calls a “commute bath.” Her workday ended at three and instead of walking straight from work into three young children needing Mom, she gave herself 30 minutes to transition. The kids watched TV. She took a bath. Then she came back ready to be there.
I loved that because it’s not really about the bath. It’s about deciding who gets your attention before your attention gets divided for you.
Looking back, I can see so many moments when I was technically with my children but still checking something, answering something, or thinking about work.
I wish I had given myself more permission to say, I’m working now. And when I’m done, I’m going to be Mom.
Building something that gives you choices
Amanda’s story is also about something I think every woman should consider: OPTIONALITY.
At the height of her corporate career, she was leading marketing at The Knot while raising three young children and going through a divorce. That experience pushed her to build a personal brand and create something that belonged to her.
Years later, when she found herself in a corporate environment that no longer worked for her, she could walk away.
She had options.
That really stayed with me because cash flow creates optionality, and optionality creates power.
There’s one part I want you to hear yourself
Amanda and I also got into building companies, raising capital, and what happens when we give too much power to people we assume are the “experts.”
It brought up a very real chapter in my own story, when I stepped aside from the day-to-day leadership of a company I had spent more than a decade building because I believed the professional operators coming in knew more than I did.
My gut told me otherwise.
What happened next changed the way I think about expertise, instinct, and trusting yourself. And Amanda’s response to that story is one of my favorite moments in this conversation.
Continue the conversation
If you’re building a business while raising a family, navigating a pivot, or simply exhausted from trying to be everything to everyone, I think you’ll feel seen in this one.
Maybe we don’t need to become better at balancing everything. Maybe we need to become better at deciding what deserves us right now.
Where in your life are you trying to balance something that might actually need your full attention?
Tell me in the comments. I read every one.
Xx,
Tracy
P.S. If you know a woman trying to be CEO, mom, partner, friend, and everything in between, send this to her. She might need the reminder that she doesn’t have to be every version of herself at the exact same time.
